It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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