mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just cropdusted the office
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
