she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
