before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
