People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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