I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
