I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize