he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
