I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
