do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
