So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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