new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
