Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
