I'm lost and stupid without you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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