he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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