He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize