We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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