did you get engaged???
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize