An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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