The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize