we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
