Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
