before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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