i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
