I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
