Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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