Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
