is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
