That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
cat food counts as protein by the way
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
