so let's talk penis.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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