if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
