I'm laying in your front yard are you home
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
