Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
