he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
