we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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