just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize