We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
