actually, I'm a sock model
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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