I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
