carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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