Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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