Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
