I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize