it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
