Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
