Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm experimenting with sincerity
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
