Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
