After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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