Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
