i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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