how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize