Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
