I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
