i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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