Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
