it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
