Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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