The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
