Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
