He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
