they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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