how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
